On the day of my son’s birth, I touched his little chin and told him that he was going to be my buddy. During the past twenty years since that day we have made that prediction a reality. We have always been very close, and we share the same sense of humor (Thanks, Mom) and many of the same interests. Exploring new cities is one of our favorite things to do together. We walk the streets and talk for hours. I cherish the memories of the trips we have taken together, and I can’t wait for the next one.
It was during a trip just the two of us took to Washington, DC, when he was fifteen years old that he told me he was gay. We were in our hotel room watching the Olympic swimming events when he texted it to me. Even though he knew that nothing would ever change my love for him, him choosing to come out to me via text shows that it was difficult for him. While it was a surprise to me, it wasn’t life-changing to me. He and I talked about his feelings and my feelings. He told me that he had already come out to my daughter and a few of his close friends. I asked how his sister reacted (I had witnessed them bickering and fighting over the years, but I was hoping she was sensitive to his feelings), and he told me she was really caring about it. (Til this day, my feisty 5’0, 115 pound daughter will go up against anyone who says anything offensive about my son or to my son). He seemed happy that his sister was so positive about his news. As for my feelings, I am not saying that my son is perfect, but I am his number one fan- his ride or die. I was happy and honored that he felt comfortable enough with me to share something so important with me. This made the rest of our DC trip more fun because we were able to talk openly about his sexuality and I learned which type of guys interest him. We spent lots of time checking out guys! This experience made us even closer, if possible.
Sadly, I know this is often not the story when people, especially teens, come out to their families. My heart breaks for those who experience the pain caused by closed-minded people. I just can’t imagine how they must yearn for acceptance from their family. I would hope everyone in that situation finds a new group of people to consider their family, a community of people that allows them to feel safe and loved.
I love both of my children deeply; being a mom is the achievement I am proudest of. My children know they can come to me with anything and I will listen and support them. Even though others say this is not a good idea, I am their parent and their friend. As a friend to my son, I am there to talk with him about his love life (even though I know he doesn’t tell me everything); as a parent to my son, I am there for him when he needs a caring hug or motherly advice. Always, I am there.
June may be the month we celebrate gay pride, but my pride for my son is year round.
