I am currently on Day #5 of a family vacation with my ex, and I am realizing new things every day. Here are just a few:
#1 I can and will do just about anything to make my kids happy.
Since we come to the beach on vacation every summer, it was a given that summer 2021 was not going to be any different. However, I really wish we had not made our vacation reservation before we filed for divorce. Months ago when my ex and I were getting along better, the thought of spending ten days together seemed like no big deal. Then we filed for divorce. As our friendly relationship/tolerance for each other diminished, I realized we were being too optimistic. It probably comes as no surprise, since all of my friends and my sisters told me this, but being with my ex in such close proximity and for such a long length of time is not the best idea I’ve ever had. Nevertheless, there was really no way I would disappoint my kids by forgoing the annual beach vacation. For now, I am not letting my discomfort of being around my ex spoil the joy I am experiencing spending time with my kids.
#2 I have more self-control than I give myself credit for.
After living separately from my ex for only one month, the little things he does that used to drive me crazy now make me want to explode. I am not going into detail because every person has their quirks that their partner puts up with because they are in a committed relationship. (I’m sure even I have some of these mentioned quirks, though I am not aware of them!) Anyway, because I am no longer in a committed relationship with this man, these quirks now seem like fingernails on a chalkboard. What makes it worse is that he knows how these behaviors bug me, but he still does them. So far, I have not uttered one sound when he does these things. If I am able to keep this up until Sunday, I will deserve some type of award.
#3 My children are more resilient than I thought.
My daughter is twenty-five years old, and my son just turned twenty years old; they are not young kids by any stretch of the imagination. For the last two years of our marriage, it was just my ex and I living in our house (besides for when my son had to move home during COVID). Though my children are grown and living on their own, the breakdown of my marriage has affected them greatly. They were devastated just as I was when certain truths were revealed; they too realized my ex is not the man we thought he was. However, they are open to maintaining a relationship with their father. In fact, my ex has made a great effort in spending time with both kids one on one during this vacation, more so than he has in the past. The kids seem to be appreciating the attention they are getting from him and are having a good time with him. I truly hope things continue to go well in my kids’ relationships with their father. There is no love like a parent’s love.
Let’s see what the rest of this vacation holds…
